Call for Moustaches

As recently reported on NPR, Beard Team USA has offered soon-to-be former UN Ambassador John Bolton a position on the team's moustache squad. While John's moustache is not yet world championship caliber, John still has ample time before the next worlds to cultivate a winning 'stache. (Also known as a 'tache or a mo'.) Importantly, as NPR also reported, Senate confirmation is not necessary for membership on BTUSA.

In fact membership is open to everyone.

Actually BTUSA is actively recruiting moustache growers for the Brighton championships. Of the recently announced official categories for Brighton, nine of the seventeen are types of moustaches. BTUSA currently lacks depth in the moustache categories.

Ordinary moustaches won't do. While most American moustache wearers prefer to trim their upper lip hairs to stay out of their mouths, most of the categories are for moustaches grown wild and then tamed through the use of artificial aids such as waxes, gels, and sprays. See www.worldbeardchampionships.com/Categories/categories.htm.

BTUSA is encouraging John Bolton and other patriotic Americans to stop trimming those mo's NOW in training for Brighton.